Tuesday, February 19, 2008

I need an EPIDURAL!!!! NOW!

There comes a point in every birthing process when you would rather be knocked in the head and wake up blissfully as they are placing your baby in your arms. TODAY is MY day! After waiting expectantly for many days, anticipating EVERY phone call to be our agency saying we are free to travel, I learned this morning we might be waiting a couple MORE weeks.... Uggghhhh! How many times have we thought, "just a couple more weeks". Apparently Kate still has not been scheduled for her visa interview at the embassy in Seoul (which is the FINAL step in the process).

I was overwhelmed with saddness and disapointment this morning. A family in our agency that received their referral AFTER us, is welcoming their baby home TODAY. There never seems to be a "rhyme or reason" to anything in this paper pregnancy process. I'm estatic happy for them, but battling a pity party for me. The ONLY way I made it to cell group at church this morning was deliberately taking my saddness and laying it at the feet of my Lord. (I had to do it many times, and am having to continue to determine not to go back and pick it up through out my day). He is a good God. He is in control.

Pressing on....

7 comments:

courtney said...

Oh, Chelle- I am so sorry! I saw your post on the Dillon board, didn't realize you had actually found out she hadn't had her Visa interview yet! I felt like everyone in the world had their legals before me, including several referrals that came after us. I can't imagine how much harder it is to actually be waiting for that TC! I'd send you an epidural if I could! :) I'll pray for a "spiritual epidural" for you- patience and a sense of peace.
CourtneyS

Unknown said...

Chelle....I can so relate. It was awful for me when I would be so elated for someone who got their travel call and IMMEDIATELY think, "what about me?!" (said with a significant whine). I didn't know which was worse, not getting my tc...or not being able to put my feelings aside and just be completely happy for the other person. And then...our paperwork got kicked back because of a changed form and we got pushed back 3.5 weeks because of having to re-do paperwork and hitting Korean and American holidays! I am so glad that cannot happen toyou. I tried to rest in God's timing....but after awhile it came down to this...God placed that desire in my heart for dear Sam and I just wanted him home with his mommy!!! So for me,it wasn't so much wanting an epidural....I wanted to PUSH before I was fully dialated!!!! In either case....we have both suffered the same labor pains....and I will be so glad when sweet Kate is finally delivered to you!!!! Love, Jill

Brad and Shana said...

Chelle~

I'm so sorry your wait has grown a little bit. I can't imagine waiting so long for travel clearance AFTER you have seen YOUR sweet one and know that she's yours. I know I'll be in that same boat one day, and while I look forward to it, I know it will be extremely hard. The comment you left to me on Malley's blog was so true and has helped me so much. You said, "It is our gift to Him to persevere in our faith, without understanding." You are SO right, and I want to be pleasing to Him and I know you do too. I hope that strengthens you as you wait, it really did me!! It is a miserable wait and a terrible longing, but keep on keeping on, she will be in your arms in just a bit. We are so happy for you and so excited!! We'll be praying that the Lord will speed up her visa appointment, and maybe you'll have good news before you think.

Much love
Shana

Hayley said...

AGHH.....sooo frustrating! However, your phone call WILL come, and when it does, it will be that more joyous having had to wait these extra couple of weeks. I know, I know - this is much easier said than done, but hang in there. Baby Kate will soon be home forever!

Hayley

AmyK said...

I'm sorry Chelle. I will pray for peace while you wait.
Amy K

Maddie said...

Chelle, I am sooo sorry. That must be so frustrating. God's timing is just not our own, but that doesn't make it any easier to wait. We will be praying.

Erin said...

I hope your sweet girl has her visa interview SOON and is in your arms even sooner! Hang in there--I think this is the very hardest part of the wait. You have almost made it!